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Frank Smoll discussed guidelines for recipients of confrontations in this Psychology Today article.

Conflict Resolution in Youth Sports: Confrontations
Part II: Eight tips for recipients of confrontations.

By Frank Smoll

In my February 3, 2020 post titled “Conflict Resolution in Youth Sports: Part 1,” the process of conflict resolution was addressed in terms of actions to take when you initiate a confrontation. This post deals with things to do when you are the recipient of a confrontation. As an introduction, some relevant concepts are reviewed.


Conflict is a state in which the action of another person prevents, obstructs, or interferes in some way with your goal or actions. There’s interference with goal-oriented behavior, which creates frustration. Because of this, conflict is usually an emotionally-charged situation.

Conflict should not be viewed as something bad or negative. It’s a natural and unavoidable part of all relationships. Why is conflict so important? Failure to effectively handle it can cause great harm to a relationship. So, the objective is to learn how to manage conflict effectively.

A confrontation is a face-to-face discussion with the individual with whom you are having a conflict. Confrontations are useful for resolving major conflicts and for minor ones as well. But that can’t happen if a confrontation is a heated argument or a hostile exchange. The basic attitude should be “Hey, we’re in this together. Let’s work for the benefit of everyone.”

Objective for Initiators of a Confrontation

When you initiate a confrontation, your goal is to get the other person to examine their actions. The purpose is to achieve a win-win outcome; that is, the needs of both parties are met in a mutually respectful manner. To accomplish this, my February 3, 2020 post covered the “Dos and Don’ts” for initiating confrontations, which are briefly presented below.

Initiating a Confrontation: Things to Do

Speak up when an issue is important to you.
Take time to think about the problem and to clarify your position.
Use your powers of reason.
Speak in “I” language.
Try to understand the other person.
Be tentative.
Proceed gradually.
Try to appreciate the fact that people are different.

Read the entire article here.